Interview for 'Lets Mote' 03/07/2013

​1 What is the importance of emotional intelligence in relationships?

In order to have healthy relationships, it will be imperative that one can communicate well. And to do this, one will need to be aware of what is going on for them emotionally. This feedback can then be used to respond and act in accordance to one's truth. And allow one to respect and honour another person’s truth and boundaries.

For if one is emotionally cut-off from themselves, there will be the tendency to either ignore their emotions or to simply react to them. And neither of these are healthy ways of responding.

2 Tell us one inspirational story of a client, whose life changed.

My primary focus for a number of years has been writing and so I haven’t had the time to work with many people during this period. However, I routinely receive emails from people that have been touched by the articles I write. One of the emails that come to mind is from a man in his seventies. And although he had reached this milestone, he was unaware of how he had been thinking for so much of his life.

​So it was wonderful to receive this email and to know that my writings had made a difference in this person’s life. It just goes to show that no matter how old someone is, they are not too old to embrace a new way of being. I thought this was a really inspiring email and it is definitely one that stands out.

3 Can emotional disturbance really affect intimacy in a relationship?

It comes back to what I said about communication in the first question. If one is experiencing emotional unrest, it could lead to one closing off and therefore distancing themselves from another. Or in then coming on too strong and pushing the other person away.

So it can all depend on the relationship that someone has with their emotions. The ideal is to just be with them or to seek assistance in someone when this is not possible and to communicate how one is feeling to the other person. How much trust has been developed in the relationship will often define whether emotional honesty will take place or not.

4 What is the key to inner peace and happiness?

That is quite the question and one that is unlikely to involve a straight forward answer. Having said that, what I can offer is an opinion based on my current life experiences. I have come to believe that inner peace is our natural state, but certain life experiences can interfere. And perhaps letting go is the key to inner peace.

In the modern day world happiness is often attached to acquiring or achieving something external. But, this desire can be a consequence of feeling a sense of unease and pain within. So the external wanting or grasping is nothing more than a way to regulate this inner unrest. I would say that as one lets go, inner peace and happiness can be experienced as a natural state of being.