Interview for 'Heal You First' 14/01/2015
· Could you describe a life situation or relationship that needed forgiveness on your part?
- One relationship where I have had to exercise forgiveness was with my mother. Based on how she has behaved for many years, I have a lot of anger and resentment towards here.
· What made you decide to forgive?
- This was not something that happened overnight. The best way to describe it would be to say that it is something that happened over time. As I continued to heal myself and my awareness increased, it was a natural consequence of what I had been doing for many years.
· What was your inspiration or motivation to forgive?
- I wasn't prepared to stay stuck and to hang onto feelings that were having a negative effect on my life. What it all came down to, as I have said above, is awareness. I would say it doesn't matter whether someone forgives another or not, what matters is that they are able to process how they feel.
· Are there any specific types of tools or practices that helped you forgive?
- I would say there were a number of things that helped. One thing that helped was talking about my feelings and being validated. Another was reading about human psychology and find out why people do what they do. This allowed me to step back and to see that her behaviour was unconscious and not intentional.
· What important advice or tips would you give to someone in regards to the power of forgiveness?
- I would say that if someone is finding it hard to move on and to put something behind them, it is going to be important for them to ask themselves if they want go stay stuck or if they want to move on. They could hold onto how they feel (and after a while they could become addicted to these feelings), but this won't change anything. The only thing it will do is have a negative effect on their life.
So if this is something they are struggling with, it is going to be important for them to seek external support. This could be a therapist, a friend or it could be support group. What matters is that they reach out and don't allow what happened in the past to define their life.