In the beginning of 2010, I was all fired up, and this was partly because I had recently been on a course. When I was on this course, I met some great people, and I wrote down some of the things that I wanted to achieve.
But after the days and weeks passed, my mood gradually changed; in a way, it was as if I had a suntan that was wearing off. For one thing, I was no longer around the same people, and this made it harder for me to feel the same way.
Down On Paper
Not only this, it became clear that it would take a while for me to achieve what I wanted to achieve. On what I think was the last day of the course, we had the chance to write down our goals, and one of the things I wrote down was for me to have my own website.
This would be somewhere where I would offer coaching or healing. I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do; I just knew that I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives.
Back to Reality
So, as this wasn’t going to happen overnight, I came to see that I would have to get a ‘normal’ job. I imagine my experience was similar to how people feel when they come back to their home town after they have been travelling, or how someone would feel if they had to go from a top of the range car to a small economy car.
I was devastated, but I had to find something that would give me the financial support that I needed in order to keep my dream alive. I soon found somewhere to work, and what helped was that the manager was someone who I got on with.
A Loss of Freedom
What didn’t help was that I was no longer in control of my own time - I had to live my life around a rota. I remember going into work one day and thinking “what is going on”, I felt as though my dream was over.
When I was on the course, it seemed that I was very close, and now it was as if I was a million miles away from where I wanted to be. I felt incredibly angry about it, but rarely did I show how I felt.
It All Built Up
My body soon revealed what was taking place within me, though, as my gums started to bleed. Initially, I don’t think that I knew what was going on, and this caused me to experience a fair amount of anxiety.
Fortunately, the course I had just been on went into the emotional underpinnings of just about every physical ailment. I ended up looking through the book that I was given, and I soon came to see that this was due to the anger I had been experiencing.
It All Worked Out
This continued to take place for a number of months, and then I think I gradually settled down. Luckily, this was not something that had a lasting effect on my gums.
I did have a website at this time, but I soon came to the conclusion that the name was no longer relevant. This was a time when I described myself as transformational coach, and this was because the guy who taught the course used the word ‘transformational’ to describe what he did.
I thought that it sounded good, but after a while I stopped using this description, and this gave way to ‘transformational writing’. This website was launched at the end of November 2011.