When I first got into self-development, about a year I left school, I wanted to share what I had learnt with my family. But although I was extremely curious and wanted to find out as much as I could, my family were not really interested.
After talking about what I had learnt and being put down on numerous occasions, I started to limit how often I would talk about this kind of stuff. My granddad would often say that I should be a politician.
When it was just my father and I, he would take the time to listen to what I had to say, even if he didn’t agree with it. My mother, on the other hand, had a very short attention span and her attention would often disappear whenever she didn’t want to hear something.
Either her eyes would go somewhere else and she would be distracted by something, or she would end up walking away, while saying that she was still listening. In addition to simply wanting to share what I had learnt, I also wanted to help my parents.
It was clear that they were both highly stressed, and I believed that what I had learnt could make their life better. Another problem here was that I was there son, so what did I know!?
If I wasn’t related to them and I wore a white coat, perhaps it would have been easier for me to get through to them. Fortunately, my father was open-minded enough to work with a healer when he had bone cancer.
The Main Reason
What played a big part here was that his mother had been healed by a faith healer, so this made him more receptive. Around this time I had been working with a healer called, Errol Campbell, and I thought that it would be a good idea for my father to work with him.
My father was grateful for his assistance; he said that working with Errol took a lot of the pain away. My mother had a bit of Reiki healing here and there - often provided by me - but it was extremely difficult to get through to her.
A Gradual Build-Up
From a young age, it was clear that she was not in a good way, and that is without even going into how cold and nasty she was at times. She was practically always stressed, and there was no doubt in my mind that she must have had a rough upbringing.
That’s not to say that that excuses her from the damage that she caused me and others; it is just to point out that her early years must have been when it all began. And before I started to learn about self-development, her brother was killed in a terrorist attack, which added another layer of stress and trauma to what was already there.
The First Sign
A little while after this, she had to go into hospital for some kind of op, and it was pretty serious. I remember speaking to one of her friends on the phone, who said that she needs to slow down and that she works too hard.
I said that I know she needs to slow down, but that my mother doesn’t listen and that she won’t change. A few years after this, she ended up having a stroke and that was the beginning of what would be a traumatic few years.
A Brick Wall
Trying to get through to my mother was often like speaking to a brick all, it was simply a waste of time. I would say that her motto would be something like, ‘I would rather die than change’.
Regardless of whether it related to something fairly trivial or something extremely serious, it didn’t really matter as it would rarely have an effect on her. Perhaps, after everything she had been through, from her early years to that point in time, a big part of her had closed off from life and no longer wanted to be here.
It is through being able to listen to other people and taking in new information that allows us to grow and to become aware of what we are not aware of. When the mind is completely closed, there is only going to be one outcome.