When I met Wain in 2015, I thought that our paths had crossed in order for us to make videos together. For a little while before this, I had been looking for someone who made videos.
Not just anyone would do, though, as I was looking for someone who would be able to relate to where I was coming from. So, when I met him, I thought that all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.
On The Path
In addition to having all the equipment that was needed to make videos, he was also someone who was into self-development. Yet, this didn’t mean that he felt the need to be happy all the time or to always have positive thoughts.
This was someone who wasn’t willing to simply live on the surface of life; he wanted to go deeper. Another way of looking at this would be to say that he wasn’t into this subject just to experience pleasure or to avoid himself.
After we first met, we started to get together every now and then, and I was surprised by how deep he was. He didn’t agree with everything I came out with and he would come out with the reason why this wasn’t the case soon after.
It was then not about him disagreeing for the sake of it, he wasn’t argumentative. As a result of this, I often felt uncomfortable and was unsure as to what his intentions were.
A Gradual Adjustment
The reason for this was that although part of me knew that he wasn’t doing this for the sake of it, another part of me wasn’t fully present. This part of me remembered what it was like when I was criticised as a child.
I stayed with it and overtime, this part of me came to see that he had his heart in the right place. Along with the moments when he would question what I came out with, he would often ask me why I wanted to achieve something and what I expected to gain after I had achieved something.
This was a time in my life when I was a human doing; I was completely focused on being a successful writer and writing my way to the top. What was behind all this was that I felt worthless and believed that reaching the top would allow me to feel good about myself.
Through feeling so low, it was a challenge for me to just be and to relax; if I did this, I would have got in touch with the feelings and thoughts that I was trying to run away from. Wain, on the other hand, didn’t have this approach, and I think that he was intrigued by my behaviour.
I found it hard to understand why he didn’t have more drive; especially as he had so much to offer on this subject. At the time, I believed that it was all about doing and taking action, and that being and letting go had no part to play.
Through working through my own layers of trauma and changing my outlook, I started to settle down. It became clear that even though I was doing so much, it wasn’t allowing me to achieve more.
A Frustrating Time
It was then as if I had pressed four on a calculator, pressed the add button, and then pressed four again, but instead of ending up with eight - after I had pressed the equals button - I ended up with two.
During this time, then, my masculine aspect was compensating for my undeveloped feminine aspect. Therefore, as I couldn’t let go and trust in the universe to give me what I needed, I was trying to use force to get what I needed, or what I thought I needed.
Out of Balance
If the universe worked in what could be classed as logical way, all this work would have resulted in me receiving more. However, as the universe is more concerned with how we feel and the vibration we are giving off, it meant that my reality mirrored back how I felt.
Ultimately, what it was doing wasn’t all that important; what was important was how I felt in each moment. I came to see that although Wain did want to share his views, he was going to do this at the right time.
I was so caught up in my mind that I couldn’t understand why he didn’t just take the next step right away. Through buying into what I had read in self-development books over the years and the conversations I had had with others, I had thought that it was all taking action and that there was no need to hold back.
I can now see how out of balance this outlook is, and how it doesn’t take into account how there can be a time to do something and a time to hold back. But when the masculine part of us has taken over, our mind, and the feminine part is overlooked, our body, this is to be expected.
There is no doubt that we came into contact with each other at just the right moment, and this was something that seemed to just happen. I thought I was just going to be helping a friend move house and out of nowhere, I meet someone like this.
As time has passed, Wain has shared more of this part of himself with the world. If you would like to find out more about, Wain, and the services that he offers, please go to - https://www.timetorelax.space/