In September 2005 I ended up studying music technology, and this was due to a number of reasons. Firstly, I was into dance music and wanted to learn how to create my own music and, secondly, I didn’t know what else to do.
During this time, I thought I would be spending a lot of time learning how to make dance music. I was sadly mistaken, though, as I had to learn about other areas of music that had very little do to with creating it.
I Couldn’t Believe It
Still, I worked hard and ended up getting a distinction. Even though the course wasn’t extremely hard, I was surprised by how well I did; especially after I didn’t do very well at school.
When it came to my last year at school, the highest grade I got was a D, and this was for English. My lecturer at college was aware of how hard I had worked as she said that she could see this wasn’t something that came easy to me.
The Next Level
I was proud of what I had achieved, and I ended up going onto the next level, which was a two year course. Whilst I was doing the first year, I had a friend who was great at producing music and knew exactly what he was doing when it came to technical side of things.
And although I got the highest grade, there were times when I felt like a fish out of water. I thought here is someone who knows exactly what he is doing and there are people out there who can produce great music, so why am I wasting my time!?
It Got Better
Yet, while this was something I reflected on, I didn’t know what else I would do at this stage of my life. What I was doing wasn’t the perfect match for me but I thought it was better than doing anything else that came to my mind at this time.
I was during the second year that I met someone called Brian. There was something about this guy that stood out, and this made me reach out to him.
The Third Year
After got to know him, I came to see that we were on same level; in fact, I couldn’t believe that I had met someone like this whilst I was at college. I had met people on courses who were open-minded and into what I was into, but I hadn’t met anyone in my day-to-day life who was like this.
This was someone who was open to learning about what was going on behind the scenes, so to speak, and about psychology, amongst other things. In many ways, it was worth doing the second part of this course just to meet him.
A Two-Way Street
In addition to what I shared with him, there was also the support and validation that he provided. If I spoke about what I was into to my family, I would often end up being criticised and told to stop preaching, amongst other things, and most of my other friends at the time were not into what I was into.
I simply wanted to share what I had learnt and to help my family, and it hurt that I was being treated in this way. Based on how they were behaving, it was as if I was trying to sell them a virus.
A Big Effect
There was a time when were walking from college into town when Brian said that “I had a way with words.” It was this moment, along with all of the other moments that we shared together, that had a big effect on how I came to see myself.
As although I believed in what I had to say, there was another part of me that wasn’t as supportive. So I am extremely grateful that our paths crossed all those years ago.