When I think back to what happened in 2001, I remember that there was a time when I was working out and I ended up finding it hard to breathe. At the time, I just thought that I had a cold coming on.
However, after I went to see the doctor, I came to see that it wasn’t a cold. After I had a few tests done, I found out that I actually had a collapsed lung.
I Was In A State Of Shock
I wanted to know how this had happened and how long it would take until I would be able to breathe properly. I remember being told that I wouldn’t be able to do any exercise for quite some time.
I loved working out so I felt crushed but, on the plus side, it meant that I was able to miss out on a lot of the PE lessons at school that I didn’t enjoy. When I asked how this had happened, I was told that it was because I was tall and slim.
I Thought That Was It
I remember hearing this and wondering what this had to do with it; it wasn’t satisfied with this answer. If anything, it just caused me to feel bad about how slim I was, and as though there was something wrong with my body.
Once my lung returned to how it was before, I soon forget about what had happened. A number of years later, though, the same thing happened again, and this time I had to go into hospital.
I was Different
I had to lie down so that they could remove the air form my chest, and this was a time when I was able to use my mind to clam myself down. The first time this happened I wasn’t on the path, but this time it was different.
One of the nurses commented on how calm I was, and this made me think about how far I had come with my own inner development. Even so, I wasn’t at a point in my development where I was ready to look into what may have caused something like this to occur.
A Number of Years Later
And just like before, I was told that this probably happened because I was tall and slim. A number of years after this, in 2013, I ended up finding it hard to breathe again.
If went for a run or walk it would be ever worse, which meant that I had to take it easy. Fortunately, my lung hadn’t collapsed this time and I was far more aware of what was taking place within me.
It wasn’t as if this was something that just happened, though, as I had experienced a breakup a few months before. When this came to an end, I experienced an incredible amount of pain.
This was a time when I felt overwhelmed with loss and grief, amongst other things, and I soon realised that this was why I was finding it hard to breath. I ended up doing some research and reading about how this is the area of the body where these feelings are held.
It was what had been triggered from my past that was causing so much pain, not the relationship that had just come to an end. My father had passed on a few years before, yet I hadn’t faced how I felt.
There was also the neglect that I experienced as a child, and this was probably the main reason why my lungs collapsed all those years ago. All this pain had built-up within me and it was looking for a way out.
But not only did this grief make it hard for me to breathe, it also caused me to feel down and depressed. I retracted and no longer had the same desire to embrace life or to be around others.
It was only too clear that I had to face this pain, and I soon found out that this pain had to be cried out. And as this pain had been building up over many, many years, this wasn’t going to happen overnight.